House, Wife, Ox…or Publication Story.
So I have a problem. It’s called, obsessively comparing myself to others. From the way I write all the way to how fast someone sold a book. This is not helpful in the least to my journey and sometimes it sneaks up on me without warning. But sometimes, most of the time, I let it in by my actions. By purposefully seeking out stories with the intention of comparing them to my story.
For example, when querying, and an agent would request a full, the minute I hit send I had a mission. The mission: Find everyone else in the entire world who had ever sent even one sentence to this agent, read every detail of each story, pick one (usually the most unrealistic, like the agent offered rep two days after requesting) and then lament when my story didn’t match theirs exactly. “Oh no! It’s been three days! She must hate me!” “Oh no! She writes books in two months and I take three! I must suck!”
This does not help me in the least. In fact, it paralyzes me. It keeps me from being productive. So how can I stop this behavior:
1. Don’t stalk people.
I was going to make a list of the things I shouldn’t do, but I think eliminating that one behavior might solve the issue. This won't eliminate my interest in other writers, because I am interested. But taking away the comparison intent will make a huge difference.
I am not my neighbor. I will have my own story.
So what about you? How do you keep yourself from obsessively comparing yourself to others?