Monday, December 27, 2010

Maddeningly Unhelpful Monday--MadLib

How about a game of Monday MadLib. Before reading the blue paragraph below, first provide the following words to fill in the blanks.

Verb ending in -ing:
Plural Noun:

Now, take your words and fill in the story below.

Kasie the _________ has once again been _________ her blog. When she is away, her readers become very, very _________ . This makes her feel extremely _________ . How dare she have a _________ outside the virtual world. When gone, it's not just her posts that are missed but her snarky _________ that she leaves throughout the blogosphere. Please, Kasie, don't _________ for so long again.

I will leave you with the answers my husband gave when I tested out the MadLib on him. (Please note that the first answer, like all his answers, were given without having read the paragraph. It's just a very big coincidence that it fits perfectly.)

Kasie the super, super sexy has once again been flagellating her blog. When she is away, her readers become very, very brilliant. This makes her feel extremely smelly. How dare she have a pie outside the virtual world. When gone, it's not just her posts that are missed but her snarky horses that she leaves throughout the blogosphere. Please, Kasie, don't spring for so long again.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Shout Out

Happy Friday, everyone. This week got away from me. I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to my friend, Renee Collins for her success in acquiring an agent. She is pretty much awesome! And if you've had a rough road, her story will inspire you (so you should definitely go read it).

Monday, December 6, 2010

Maddeningly Unhelpful Monday--Dream Escapes

I have this irrational fear of alligators. Well, I mean, it's not irrational, they are obviously creatures to be feared. But I live in California. The only place I can see an alligator around here is the zoo. However, no matter my location, just the thought of them lurking, barely visible, in lakes and rivers scares me beyond belief (this is the irrational part). It's like when we're boating at the lake and my daughter gets scared that a shark might bite her. I tell her that sharks don't live in lakes (to which my brother unhelpfully adds, except the fresh-water shark) and in my head I think, only alligators live in lakes. I don't know how you people in Florida can walk around knowing that at any moment an alligator might walk up the street looking for a limb to bite off.

So last night I had this horrible dream that an alligator chomped down on my leg and, of course, wouldn't let go (because that's what alligators do) and it scared me so much that I woke up. But every time I tried to go back to sleep, the same image came back into my mind. Finally, I had to mentally come up with a way to free myself from the dumb alligator so that I could get on with my dream and get some sleep.

First, I had remembered seeing a news story where a girl who was in the clutches of an alligator, shoved her arm down its throat, opening it up for water to pour in. The alligator was forced to let her go because it was drowning. Smart girl. But I realized I couldn't do this because I was on dry land. Then I tried to punch it on the nose but remembered this was advice for sharks (which weirdly enough I don't fear). Prying it's jaws open with my bare hands didn't work. Finally, I found a large rock (that just happened to be within reach) and shoved it down the alligator's throat. My half-asleep brain must've found this a decent solution because the alligator let go of my leg and I was able to take my son to the lego horse so he could have a ride (my son got legos for his birthday yesterday). So I don't know if this would actually work should you find yourself in the clutches of an alligator when on dry land in real life, but at least in the dream realm, you should give it a try.

Happy Monday.

(P.S. I also decided when I was half-asleep and had just freed myself from the alligator that this would be my unhelpful advice for today. I have since decided that I should save decision making for when I'm fully awake.)