by, Kasie West
Now that’s a title to be proud of. My seven-year-old daughter bestowed it upon me a couple of months ago when I wouldn’t give her what she wanted. The exchange went something like this:
“Mom, can I have a brownie?” she asked with the look in her eye that told me she had already had several without asking. It didn’t help her case that several bits of crumbled brownie clung to her lower lip.
“How many have you had?” I asked.
The sweet smile, which she had plastered on her face in her attempt to con me, immediately turned into a scowl accompanied by an eye roll.
“No, you don’t need any more,” I assured her.
“Fine, then is it my turn on the computer?” she asked, pointing to her sister who, obviously hearing the exchange, yelled,
“I just got on!"
“Go set the timer and you can have a turn in ten minutes,” I said, in my best attempt at diplomacy.
That’s when the rage set in. Her hands flew to her hips, her foot stomped angrily on the floor, and drawing on all the powers of indignation that a seven year old could possibly muster, she screamed, “You are the worst mother in the history of all mothers!"
Maybe I shouldn’t have been, but I was impressed. In the entire history of mother’s, I was the worst? I had never been given such an absolute title before. I felt proud. “Thank you,” I said sincerely.
That was the wrong response. Her lips pursed, her nose wrinkled, her arms became stiff boards at her sides, ending in her tightly clenched fists. “NO!” she wailed, before running up the stairs and shutting herself in her room.
Ever since that day, I have tried my hardest to live up to my title. I wouldn’t want to let her down. It’s worth it for those days when the Sunday School teacher or her Second Grade teacher tell me that she is one of the most well behaved children in class. The worst mother in the history of all mothers must be doing something right. And occasionally, when she offers me an unasked for hug or cuddles up next to me on the couch, I sigh happily. Perhaps she hadn't really meant “in the entire history of mothers”.