Dental hygienist=hard job. Why? Well, because not only do they have to deal with yucky teeth and bad breath (not mine, of course, I have perfect teeth and breath like the scent of fresh rainbows), but they have to carry on a witty, one-sided conversation. My dental hygienist is the best at this. While her hands are in my mouth she chatters away, keeping me very entertained. But I have to wonder two things. One, does she really expect me to answer the few questions she asks me? Because she doesn't take the tools out of my mouth after she asks. So, I am stuck with one of two responses, either smiling at her with my eyes, as if to say, 'I completely agree with everything you say and hopefully you are versed in eye smiles to understand this.' Or, starting to talk with tools in my mouth, which is probably less understandable than the eye smile. In fact, yesterday, I started to talk with the sucker thing (yes that's the official name) in my mouth and it literally sucked the words right out. It was the oddest sensation.
The second thing I wondered yesterday at my appointment, happened at the very end. When she was all finished, the dental hygienist pulled out my chart and said, "Just let me take a few notes and then I'll walk you up front," at which point she proceeded to write for a good 3 minutes. When she was done, she quickly flipped the chart closed and smiled at me. I wanted to say, "Uh, what did you just write?" What did she just write? Did she write that the patient became extremely defensive when asked about her flossing habits? Did she write that my breath did not smell of fresh rainbows? Or maybe that I actually tried to answer her questions with the tools in my mouth. I demand to read my chart. (although maybe I shouldn't because then she'd write that in there) But why couldn't she just wait until I was out of the room to write about me?
Kasie, This is one of the more hilarious things you've written (and that's saying a lot!) You are one funny girl. I think the exact same things when at the dentist's office, although I have to admit they've never taken more than a few quick seconds to "make notes" in my chart. (She said thinking her breath really does smell like rainbows and that she deserves a medal for flossing once or twice a week...)ReplyDelete
Dentists...not even your humor can remove the pit in my stomach. That one-sided conversation always drives me nuts! Or when the dentist and his assistant are jabbering away over you and joking around. Uh, just clean my mouth, please. Get me out of here asap.ReplyDelete
She wrote: Patient is tall, thin, and beautiful! I hate her!!!!!ReplyDelete
I just had a dentist appointment and wondered these same things. Wish my dentist was good with one-sided conversations. It's hard to nod or do anything besides raise my eyebrows and grunt.ReplyDelete
LOL about the chart. That's a good question. Why didn't she just wait? Weird.
Maybe she just got a flash of inspiration for the novel she's been working on at night for the past 4 years. Cut her some slack, will you? Paranoid.ReplyDelete
OMG-you gave me the best belly laugh. The sucker thing stealing your words is too much, you're killing me.ReplyDelete
The dentist wasn't writing about you per se. Just the tools you damaged while trying to talk.
So funny, Kasie. And I relived all my dentist appointments with you as I read your post. Just one bit of advice...Next time, BITE.ReplyDelete
Ha! 'Literally sucked the words out of my mouth' I'm still laughing.ReplyDelete
Oh, Debra, you really know how to pour on the flattery (I love it). And I like your the "notes" you hygienist wrote. You are quite obviously a stellar dental patient. LOLReplyDelete
Nat, I know, the thought of dentists make my teeth ache.
Linda, I wish that was what she wrote (but I highly doubt it). :)
Michelle, seriously, why didn't she wait? Maybe she likes to make patients squirm.
Tricia, you're probably right. I'll be billed for them later.ReplyDelete
Jessie, I might bite, but knowing my luck I'd probably chip my tooth on the tools or her ring or something.
Candi, yeah, thanks. LOL
LOL that's awesome! So funny.... unfortunately, it reminded me that I need to go to the dentist. A sobering thought... the laughter has ended.ReplyDelete
Maybe the hygenist was wasting time to keep you back there so the dentist thought she was doing an extra special good job. :)ReplyDelete