Friday, October 2, 2009

Top 10 reasons to avoid the gym

10. It’s swine flu season and every surface in every gym is covered in germs. I have my health to think about.

9. The starve-crazed patrons might take one look at me, realize I eat, and attack me in search of food.

8. I don’t “glisten” I sweat and sweat is yucky.

7. If and when I have time and money to spend on child care/gym membership, I want to spend it doing something way better than forcing myself to sweat and shower.

6. Don't want to have to witness muscly man making out with himself in the mirror.

5. A trip to the bathroom might result in seeing people way too comfortable with their own nakedness.

4. My workout clothes are not cute enough (and we all know that according to Stacy and Clinton, from “What not to Wear”, even for a trip to the gym we are supposed to look hawt).

3. No one—ever—should have to be exposed to spandex biking shorts. Whoever invented them was trying to play a cruel trick on the world and some people never caught on.

2. Why would I work out when I could be ______? (Insert almost any word in the universe into the blank and it will be a good question.)

1. And the number one reason is…… I might run into Carrie’s creepy “speedo guy” (warning: if you click on link, you might pee your pants laughing)

Thanks to my commenters Wednesday for helping me with these awesome reasons. I'm beginning to think maybe I don't want to go to the gym tonight.


  1. All great reasons, in fact I might skip the gym today.

  2. Hehe. Awesome list! Can't wait to see if you get a lot of hits from this. :)

  3. I'm completely convinced. Thanks for saving me!

  4. See! This is why I never go to the gym. Yep. Not laziness at all. ;)

  5. Great. Now I'm the start of a pants peeing epidemic. ;)

  6. I don't go to the gym, so I think I am safe. I am also forty pounds heavier than I was six months ago. But I guess it's because of that one thing called fetus-growing-inside-of-me.

  7. "I'm beginning to think maybe I don't want to go to the gym tonight."

    Sounds like a great reason to me. I think I used one of those today myself.

  8. My husband has been wanting to join the local gym. I've given him many of the same reasons you have for avoiding it.

    With the change of seasons here, I'm all for outside exercise...that and I've got to somehow justify my newly purchased jogging stroller.

  9. I always avoid the gym. Fabulous list! I've taken to just walking while I'm waiting for my daughter in one class or another. Nobody can even see me in the dark at 6 whatever in the morning. It's very peaceful.

  10. For number two I shall say cleaning house, however, I expect next week a top ten list for not cleaning house.

  11. Patti, LOL I really should include a disclaimer about not blaming me if people end up gaining 5 pounds after reading my post.

    Michelle, I know, I'll be curious to see.

    Natalie, you're welcome. :)

    Renee, I know, it has nothing to do with laziness. That excuse didn't even make the top 10. :)

    Carrie, I think you've perpetuated that epidemic for a while now. This will just be new pants peers to add to the list.

  12. Jessie, you have the best excuse of all so use it while you can.

    Midlife, you have a different excuse for the next 10 days. Feel free to use them. LOL

    Terresa, me and jogging don't get along. :)

    Lois, that's a great idea. Way to multi-task

    Tricia, I could provide a top 50 for house cleaning. LOL It's possible you found the only thing that doesn't work in that sentence (at least for me). :)

  13. I also used to play sports often and almost never missed a workout. But later many other things appeared and gradually I began to abandon sports. Until there were back problems due to a sedentary lifestyle. Then my therapist told me that I needed more physical activity during the day. Then he advised me to call the Crown Awards phone number to ask for a consultation with their customer service. There they helped me choose several inexpensive simulators for those muscle groups that we decided to focus on in the future.

  14. You should always monitor your health. Of course, outdoor activities or trips to the gym are all great. But there are also very unpleasant and insidious diseases, you just read about it It's real that without doctors and medicine, well, there is no way to win. And once again, in general, it is definitely worth being examined.