Monday, December 21, 2009

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-Death to Elbows

Perhaps I shouldn't write a post after whacking my elbow not once, but twice in the same weekend. Perhaps I should let the memory of the horrible pain suffered die down a little before making emotionally charged statements like: Death to elbows everywhere. But who needs elbows, anyway? Sure they help us do small things like bend our arms so we can eat, drive, clean....function normally. But we can adapt. We can learn to work without them.

I submit that if we stop using our elbows, if we keep our arms perfectly straight at all times, we will never have to suffer whacking them at full speed into hard objects. And why, I ask, does whacking elbows (and toes) hurt more than hitting any other body part? Maybe instead of writing off my elbows altogether I can just have a layer of fat added to them. The same fat that seems to protect the rest of my body from similar pain. In fact, I have a few areas that have collected more than their fair share that could contribute to the cause.

I thought about taking a picture of my bruised elbow. Okay, I did take a picture of my elbow. But the lighting must've been a bit off because the image seemed to downplay the trauma of the actual event. The bruise appeared small and insignificant and wouldn't have backed up my argument to end elbow use. So just imagine, the largest bruise you've ever had and then double it. There, doesn't that support my advice to stop using your elbows and save yourself some future pain?

Speaking of the largest bruise you've ever had, I want to hear about it. How did it happen? This will be my entertainment for the week. (Plus it might make me feel less clumsy)

13 comments:

  1. I'm not sure why they call it the funny bone because it sure hurts when you whack it.

    Biggest bruise. I had one from my knee down to my toes. I got kicked in the shin playing soccer.

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  2. Worst bruise would be when I walked into the bathroom door in the middle of the night. Nope not the flat closed side of the door - that would of been too easy. The open edge of the door. I ended up with a 2 inch bruise down the middle of my forehead, nose and chin. That was fun trying to explain. (Hugs)Indigo

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  3. See, I whack/bruise my knees more than I do my elbows. In fact, I'm sporting a nice, big one right now. *sigh* I guess that's what I get for being tall. And clumsy.

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  4. I wish I had one! I'm not normally prone to injury. But my husband on the other hand is the King Klutz!

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  5. Try falling off the Wii balance board and breaking your hand, which will turn the whole thing black and blue. I claim the Clumsy Queen title.

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  6. I agree with Patti - not sure where the "funny" in funny bone came from! :)

    I .honestly can't remember any monster bruises, though I'm sure I've had them.

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  7. Malibu, CA walking to dinner the night before my cousin's wedding: The sidewalk reached up and grabbed my ankle. I used the back of my right wrist (don't ask) to stop my face from planting straight into the concrete. Can you say bloody mess? There's still a light-colored, fairly large scar on the back of my wrist. Also, tore a whole in the knee of my brand new jeans.

    Did I mention the wedding was outdoors in 95 degree heat with 100% humidity? Good times.

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  8. Ha! This reminds me of one of my good friends-- we have an on-going contest of who does the stupidest, clumsiest stuff, and at the moment, my "I dropped an x-acto knife into my thigh and it stuck" was just outdone by her "I felt myself falling on the sidewalk, but since I make my living with my hands,I just let my whole face hit the ground rather than catching myself and risking breaking the hands!"

    It really does make you feel better to hear other clumsy stories!

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  9. Death to elbows everywhere!!! God I hate mine too. Not funny at all.

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  10. You poor thing. I hope your elbows feel better soon. Most of my bruises come from my 120 lb American bulldog. He swats and me with his big old paws when we play, or steps on me because he thinks hes a lap dog. I'm always sporting one or two somewhere on my body.
    Karen’s Blog

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  11. ROFL! Try working at a restaurant. There are all kinds of things (especially the stupid ice machine lid) that tend to reach out and grab my elbows. And why they call them funny bones, I'll never know.

    Hey, I tried NOT to quote you on my blog today, but just couldn't resist. Check it out later. HUGS

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  12. Kasie - I have a pretty, new award waiting for you at my blog! ;-)

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  13. I had a fairly large bruise on my tailbone after it broke giving birth to the world's largest baby. And here is the unbelievable part: the bruise lasted 18 months.

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