Monday, August 16, 2010

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice--I need some.

Last week I received a very exciting letter in the mail. Well, technically, I didn't receive it, my parents did. It was addressed to the parents of Kasie West (spelled right and everything). It was a "once in a lifetime opportunity" to study abroad--in China--for one semester of high school. It promised to expand my awareness of cultures and places, broaden my learning experience, provide excitement and diversity in my life. The letter said I had been hand picked for this opportunity that is only available to a handful of students, that this letter was my ticket to a bright future. A future of visiting places like this:



Now, I'm sure you can see my dilemma. I graduated from high school 16 years ago. This is where you come in. I have been providing you with priceless advice for months. Now I need your help. I must study abroad in China for a semester. Help me figure out how I can either pass off as a high school student or create a time machine. If a time machine is successfully created, I also need to figure out how to change the date on the letter, because right now it reads August 3, 2010. That would be a dead give away that I'm from the future. Thank you for the unhelpful advice I am about to receive.

14 comments:

  1. Well, I have a birthday coming up (in February). You're welcome to my birthday wish, though most of mine still haven't come true:/

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  2. Wormhole to an alternate dimension. It's the only way that is Semester-Abroad approved. So, what you do is spend a lot of time today conversing with the worms in your backyard. If you greet them with all the proper protocols (I believe there is a special kind of curtsey and much worshipping of dirt), they will explain the way to their mighty Wormhole.

    Good luck, and we'll miss you.

    Jules

    P.S.: Don't forget to ask about the way back, too. :)

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  3. Develop terrible acne and a sullen expression. They'll think youre a teenager fo sho.

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  4. Oh, you can use that time machine I have in the nonexistant basement of mine...covered in fictional dust. It works perfectly. :)

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  5. This sounds like it could be a good book idea. Hilarious that you got that letter. You have to go - you were handpicked specially. I think you look like you could pass for a teenager - you're still young and hip.

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  6. This is simple—your daughter look old enough to be in high school, so pawn her off as you. THEN apply to be a chaperon and go with her.

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  7. Lots of face cream? Throwing out words such as, like, you know, and totally?

    You look pretty darn young to me. =) Maybe if you just show up, they'll feel bad you traveled so far and let you in anyway;)

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  8. Oh, you don't have anything to worry about. You look young enough to pass for a teenager:)

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  9. Oh, you'd easily pass as a high school student. No worries there. You just have to figure out what to do with your family while your gone. :) That's really funny.

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  10. I have a harder time believing you are married with children than you as a teenager. What I want to know is how you do it? Look so young, that is. Not time travel because that was your question.

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  11. LOL! I agree with Angie, you are so cute you can easily pass off as a high school student. =)

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  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  13. This is soooo funny! You have a wonderful premise for a book. I hope you write it. With your sense of humor it should sell. :)

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  14. I know, I know. You should dress up as a boy soldier and join the Chinese army as they fight against the Huns. (What was your question again?)

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