I am unarguably the best player of bejeweled blitz ever. (Don't pay attention to all the people above me in the rankings. I just pretend they don't exist.)
Okay, so I'm not. And I think that's what makes my addiction to this game that much more pathetic. I am, at best, a mediocre player. So if you, too, want to be mediocre, just apply the following steps to your playing (I could compare them to writing too, but that might be too helpful).
1. Constantly get distracted by the shiny jewels. In fact, focus all your efforts into trying to get them and only them to explode.
2. When angry at your horrible performance, use phrases like, dag nabit. Then wonder where that phrase came from. Google its history. Find nothing even remotely useful but waste fifteen minutes on it anyway. Decide you are going to stop using the words dag nabit. Immediately use them again.
3. Hum a jeopardy type song while you play and then let the song start to cause feelings of anxiety because you've given yourself an earlier time limit than the game has given you. Panic.
4. Get a very bad score. Stare accusingly at all the profile pics of the people who have very good scores.
5. Compare bejeweled to writing and sink into a deep well of depression. Tell yourself if only you were better at bejeweled blitz you would succeed at writing.
6. Tell yourself this is the stupidest game ever invented.
7. Stare at the 'play again' button.
8. Push it.