Please forgive me, readers, while I direct this bit of advice to the makers of minivan ads. Minivans will never be cool.
But that's okay, they are very useful vehicles. I should know, I own one. But, ads that try to convince me that they are cool are a waste of money. I don't care how big their speakers are or if fireworks go off when I look at the van. I don't care if rabbits and deer find the atmosphere in and around the van peaceful. I don't even care if rose petals float out the door and giant clams are singing in the trunk. No such van is going to make me drop my perfectly paid for bag of groceries.
Please, just tell me how your van is going to entertain my children. How it will keep me from getting lost despite high levels of volume in the car. How easy it will be to wipe boogers off the walls. And the millions of different compartments available for my kids to hide food in until it saturates the air with its rotting fragrance.
Now, if in the future, you come up with a way to stop the sound in the back seats from traveling to the front seats of the car, or a self vacuuming floor, that might be something to make me drop my bag of groceries over. Thank you.
What features would you like to see in the future minivan?