I'm the kind of girl who, if I ever got remarried (don't worry, honey, and in-laws, I'm not hinting at anything, it's purely hypothetical) I wouldn't wear white again. I'm not judging those who do, it doesn't bother me at all when others wear white the second time around, that just wouldn't be me. So why am I talking about wearing white a second time? Because in a way I feel like that's what I'm about to do in this post and it makes me feel a little awkward.
You see, I have an agent! I'm so excited about this. More than excited! Over the moon! In fact, I got two offers. Two agents loved my book. And I loved both these agents. Really. Loved. They are both amazing, talented, well-known agents. This was the hardest decision since the See's Candy lady asked me which truffle I wanted to sample. "You mean I have to pick?!?"
Again, what does this have to do with remarriages and wedding dresses? Well, for those of you who have followed my journey for the last few years, you may remember I've had an agent before. Maybe many of you even remember the day my agent's name mysteriously disappeared off my 'about me' section about a year ago with no explanation whatsoever. I will attempt to explain a little bit without disclosing too much personal info because I want to respect her privacy. To make a long story short, she decided to take a big step back from the YA market so we mutually parted ways. I still appreciate all the help and support she gave me and have nothing but good feelings towards her.
So that's where the, 'I feel like I've done this celebration before' attitude came in. I thought to myself (and now write out loud) what gives me the right to scream from the rooftops again? I had to be honest with myself about why I didn't feel like I was allowed to celebrate this major accomplishment. I came to a few (kind of hard to realize) conclusions.
One, I was embarrassed to admit my first attempt to put one of my works into the world failed. It made me feel like a failure, like I had done something wrong. Two, it was a very hard, depressing part of my journey that I kind of just wanted to forget happened at all. So as I was getting ready to announce my very happy news today, and realized these things, I hesitated. I told myself I didn't need to make this announcement at all. And then I got sad. I got sad that I didn't want to share it.
So what changed? Why did I decide to make a big announcement ("big" being a relative term because, hello, this is my blog we're talking about here not Dateline)?
Well, one, because I love my agent and think she deserves to be recognized. But also, because every success and step in this difficult journey to publication should be celebrated! There's too much heartache in this industry to hide the happy moments that make it all worth it! (Yes, I really am screaming these things, so the exclamation points are justified.)
So watch out, people, because not only am I putting on a white dress, but I'm going to have an over-the-top cake and throw a bouquet as I announce that me and MICHELLE WOLFSON (of Wolfson Literary) tied the knot!