Monday, November 30, 2009

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-How to make sure there are no Thanksgiving leftovers


I love Thanksgiving. No holiday can rival it in the food department (although Christmas comes close). And there is no other time of year when it is perfectly acceptable, in fact normal, to make a complete pig of yourself. My family has taken gluttony to a new level, though (well, actually, I shouldn't blame the whole family when my husband started this). We've turned eating into a sport, a competition really, complete with cash prizes. What are the rules, you ask? It's simple. We have a pre-meal weigh-in and then a post-meal weigh-in. Whoever gains the most weight is the winner.

It's quite a sight: the teenagers involved in this competition. They pound the potatoes. They down glass after glass of water. They periodically weigh themselves to see how their efforts are paying off. Three platefuls each of dinner and several pieces of pie later, the weigh in takes place. The winner this year, my adorable 15 year old niece (who won against her boy cousins and brother), gained 5.8 pounds! :) And in second place was my super skinny sister in law (go girls!) with 5.2 pounds. It's craziness.

But, you can imagine the aftermath of such an event. If you can't, let me spell it out for you. Bodies sprawled on the floor, lain across couches, or draped over chairs. Hands gripping sore stomachs. And the air is filled with a low, incessant moaning. Ah, Thanksgiving, I love it!

But, really, I am grateful for all that I've been blessed with. A supportive husband, wonderful children, amazing friends, and the opportunity to do something I love on a daily basis--write.

14 comments:

  1. I'm still laughing at the madness. That is seriously one of the funniest and craziest Thanksgiving day traditions I've ever heard! Leave it to Jared...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm freakishly proud of your niece for beating the boys. What did she win?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Candice, we actually shouldn't leave anything to Jared because this is what happens. :)

    Natalie, I know, I was so proud of her too. : ) She won 20 bucks. Nothing big, but I think it's the competition that gets them so excited.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL, that's fabulous! I love big, quirky families and their quirky traditions. :)

    Though I must admit that I find it rather disturbing that a person can gain almost six pounds in one meal. Duuuuude.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's awesome that your niece won. I ate way too much with painful moaning to follow and I didn't win a thing. One year I was too self conscious to even eat as my sister-in-law kept looking up how many calories each food item contained - talk about a downer. She was better this year, but a competition would have been great.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is the most hilarious Thanksgiving story I've ever heard. I found my way over here from Candice's blog. Now, I know I'll be a regular!! :)
    www.shannonkodonnell.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. That is the best tradition I have ever heard of. See up here in Canada, our Thanksgiving is in October, so we spread the food out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so tired of Melissa out eating me every year. I hate getting beat by little girls! I will destroy her!

    Hey, why is one of your followers a dog?

    ReplyDelete
  9. If by "super skinny" sister in law you mean super flabby, then yes, you are correct.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Whoa. That's taking Thanksgiving to a whole new level. I bow to your niece and her eating prowess.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Renee, I know, right? That's half a bowling ball. Crazy.

    Mary, yes, you must not look up calories on Thanksgiving. That's a huge downer. :)

    Shannon, it is quite a sight, the Thanksgiving pig-out. :) Thanks for dropping in. I stopped by your blog as well.

    Patti, it is quite a good tradition. I kind of like the spreading out the food as well. Oh wait, I do that too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jared, I know, seriously. You=wimpy How can you let a tiny little girl beat you? It's shameful really.

    Emily, I meant what I said: super skinny. You see, it is actually quite selfish to call you this because we've been said to have similar body types. :)

    And I actually have 2 dog followers and a frog. All of whom are awesome. :)

    Lois, I bow to her too. She can also hold her leg above her head. She's all around a pretty impressive teenager. (Plus, she likes my books, so she has endeared herself to me forever)

    ReplyDelete
  13. that has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

    ReplyDelete