Monday, November 23, 2009

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-Housecleaning 101

Well, as you can all see by my little progress bar on the side, I am an excellent housekeeper. Cleaning is my motto. So I thought it only right to give those of you who may not be as efficient or accomplished in the art of cleaning as I am, some good advice, things I've learned over this past month.

1. Why do now what you can put off until tomorrow? Seriously, if it's not going to grow legs and walk away, then it will still be there for you to pick up tomorrow. We all know that nobody else in the house will pick it up.

2. A layer of dust protects your nice wood from the harsh elements of the world. You wouldn't want to wipe away protection, would you?

3. Speaking of dust, if you leave it on your ceiling fans, then when summer rolls around again it is like a magical surprise for the children when the fans are turned on again. Like a pretty shower of dirty snow for all to enjoy and revel in--Christmas in the summer. It will be a scene your children will remember for ages.

4. Throwing away toys makes it so much easier the next time you have to pick up.

5. Bleach is our friend.

6. Favorite cleaning tool: Mr Clean Magic Eraser

7. Bribery even works on adults.

8. A clean house is overrated. I'd much rather be .... doing anything in the universe, even working out.

Okay, so I'm writing this post from out of town. I'm on vacation for the rest of the month so it looks like my NaHo is stopping at the whopping number of 1920. When I made the goal of 5000 I thought it would be close to attainable. Even though I didn't make it even half way, I did learn a couple things about myself. The first is that I really do hate to clean, which contradicts the second thing I learned which is that I love it when my house is clean. Can somebody tell me how I can have a clean house without having to clean? The other thing I learned is that I like a little healthy competition. When my friend, Linda, was beating me (which was often) it really did motivate me to do more. Thanks for that, Linda. And for those of you who aren't out of town and still participating, keep it up! Even though I accomplished less than half of my goal, my house looked awesome before I left.


  1. Well, I'm not out of town and as of this minute, I'm only 108 minutes ahead of you, so you did great.

    I, too, hate cleaning, but love a clean house, though I already knew that. The only way to have it both ways is to hire a housekeeper. Uh ... yeah, maybe when I have a book on the New York Times bestseller list!

  2. Dirty summer snow is a seasonal favorite at our house. My meter is still pathetically under 800 minutes. But my house is very small these days, and I only have one child, so somehow things aren't as disgusting as it might seem they would be. Plus I'm moving again in 8 months, so I'm practically in transition mode. Nobody expects a clean house when you're getting ready to move...right?

  3. LOL, great post. :) I'm a huge advocate of the first piece of advice.

    Also, ditto on the magic erasers! What do they put in those things? They're amazing!

  4. LOLOL! You crack me up! And who doesn't love a little fun summer dust shower??? LOL!

  5. My personal favorite is usually I take so long to iron and fix my kids clothes that they've grown out of it. I still have a pair of pants for my daughter from last Christmas that I have yet to fix.

    Have a good vacation.

  6. I love cleaning. Seriously. I'm such a germophobe that cleaning is like a release for me. Just call me Monica from Friends.

  7. I know how to have a clean house—live alone and pay a maid. There you go. Yes, I'm know I'm being a smart-a$$:P

  8. This is why I ditched NaHoCleMo for the more attainable NaGroBaMo. Really, I don't have to do anything but sit and wait. Anyway, I have actually been going into cleaning overhaul today...maybe it's that whole nesting thing. I cleaned my toilet bowls a bit ago, and it was awful. I hate cleaning toilet bowls. I love Magic Clean Erasers.

  9. I hate cleaning, and I also love a clean house. So I am write there with you. I keep hoping if I ignore the mess long enough it will feel lonely and move out to someone else house.

  10. How can you have a clean house without cleaning it yourself? CHILDREN.
    You can teach them/bribe them/threaten them. I'm surprised someone hasn't patented them yet. Train them from birth, and they will work for you forever! At least, that's how it seems to work in my home...

  11. Hilarious! Like you, I love a clean house but hate to do the cleaning myself. I'd rather toil away in the kitchen baking and cooking the whole day long rather than dust and sweep and mop and dust again.

  12. Keep it up, you say? I didn't put up the widget on my blog, but I can tell you I came close to 200 minutes (187 to be exact). That's just 4800 minutes shy of my goal.