Monday, December 28, 2009

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-How to Cook Like a Kindergartner

Some of you may know (namely my children and husband) that I am not the best cook in the world.....or the nation.....or the state....okay, probably not even on my city block. When my 11 year old pulled out a cookbook her class had made in Kindergarten, I realized I had been going about this cooking thing all wrong. I thought I'd share a few recipes with you because my guess is that we've all been doing it wrong according to these five year olds.

Javan's Pumpkin Pie

First you get a pumpkin and mix it with 3 eggs. Then you cook it for 10 minutes at 10 degrees. Take it out of the oven.

(My oven doesn't have a setting for 10 degrees. Is this a problem?)

Wyatt's Big Noodles

Put the brown things in a pot with the noodles. You have to stir it around then you put the meat in it. Then you put vegetables and Ginja (the brown things) and hot pepper then stir it. Then there is one thing left then you put fish meat and noodles with Ginja. Cook it at 31 degrees for 49 hours. Then you get all the stuff out to eat with. Then you eat it with your mom and dad and grandpa and sister.

(I like how as part of this recipe we are told who it must be ate with. This is something lacking from all other recipes I have ever followed. I believe it could add a bit of interest to a recipe if we're told specifically who we can eat it with.)

Cody's Lucky Charms

First you grab out a bowl and then grab out a spoon and then grab out the cereal and then grab out the milk. Then pour 1 cup of cereal (Lucky Charms) in the bowl and then 1 cup milk in the bowl. Then you eat it.

(Cody, thank you so much. I looked all over the Lucky Charms box on how to make their cereal and it didn't tell me anywhere. I'm so happy to finally have the recipe)

Louie's Cheese Pizza

Go to the store and get pizza then you cook it in the oven for 10 minutes.

(LOL Louie is my kind of kid.)

I know this post might have been entirely too helpful today. After all, I just gave you three ideas for dinner. I'll work harder next week.


  1. I love how kids simplify things. And have such a creative grasp of numbers.

    But am I the only one not sure what Ginjas are? Is that Ninja Ginger?

  2. teeheeheee... I do not want to eat Javan's pumpkin pie. I fear salmonella! :)

  3. Oooh, I'm with Louie too. Dinner tonight = done. :)

  4. I howled as I read these! Thanks for a good laugh to start my day! :)

  5. Haha! These are great! Totally made my morning. :) Thanks for the blog award, by the way. :)

  6. Sometimes, when I'm tired, thinking of dinner ideas is harder than actually making food. So now I'm all set with ideas!

  7. So cute and funny! I've been doing it wrong too.

  8. Recipe for Pot Roast, Turkey and Ham:
    Go home for Christmas. Wait for your mom to go way overboard on the homemade cooking. The end. :)

  9. Linda, yeah, I wasn't sure what Ginjas were either. I guess I won't be able to make that recipe. And I was really looking forward to it. It only takes 49 hours.

    Valerie, I know, it does sound scary. :)

    Tamika, that part cracked me up.

    Elana, yes, he was my very favorite. Right up my alley.

  10. Shannon, I laughed reading these too. As did my 11 year old.

    Jenn, glad I can be of service. :)

    Kaylie, even when I'm not tired, the thinking up the ideas is way harder than the actually making them part. :) That's one of the reasons I'm not very consistent with dinner. (At least that's the excuse I'll use for now)

    Rhiannon, I think we all have. :)

    Candi, Oh no! I left too early. LOL Although I did love the BBQ. You guys know how to feed people. Miss you.

  11. Hey, anything not made out of mud from a kid ain't half bad. I love these recipes and I, too appreciate a recipe naming whom we should eat it with.

  12. Cute! We never did a project like this in kindergarten, but I wish we had. My only recipe at the time involved exploding marshmallows in the microwave until my mother noticed the beeping.

  13. Sounds like Cody is going to be a chef... look at those detailed steps. :P

    And yes, Pizza Boy has the right idea (GO LOUIE)!

  14. Haha, these recipes are just too cute! I <3 little kids! :)

  15. I come back after a long absence to read unhelpful advice, and you're right, it's a little too helpful. How disappointing.

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