Monday, April 19, 2010

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-How to be the best babysitter ever

As many of you know, I'm watching my sisters kids while she is away on a cruise. This ups the number of kids in my house from four to seven for the rest of the week. Ages: 2,3,4,6,6,9,&11. No, I'm not going crazy, why do you ask? In fact, since I've had them for the last three days, I feel like I am now an expert in child rearing (yes, that's how long it takes me to perfect any art--three days). So I am going to share some of my newfound wisdom with you, so you, too, will be cherished by children everywhere.

Step one: Start every day off with a good, healthy breakfast.

*6 year old nephew: "Wow, my mom never lets us eat brownies for breakfast."
*Me: "These aren't brownies. These are chocolate muffins, which are much healthier than brownies."

Step two: Play lots of fun games with the kids.

*Me: "This game is called The Quiet Game. Whoever can stay completely silent the longest, wins."
*4 year old niece: "That game doesn't sound very fun."
*Me: "It is lots of fun. And when we're done with this game, we'll play hide and seek. You guys can hide first."

Step three: Let the kids experience new and exciting things.

*6 year old nephew the morning after falling head first off the bunk bed: "Cool, Aunt Kasie, I have a black eye. I've never had one of those before. It's just like Spongebob's."
*Me: "Yes, it's so exciting. See, my house is lots of fun."

Who wouldn't want to leave their kids with you after such obvious displays of child watching genius. Wish me luck. I still have seven days left.

19 comments:

  1. You're so funny. I want to go play at your house. I watched my nephews last weekend, and they left behind lots of pee on my toilet and viruses that we are still fighting. Not so much fun at my house.

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  2. Totally love the quiet game. We play it all the time.

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  3. Michelle Duggar's got nothing on you.

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  4. Haha if you lived closer I'd hire you!

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  5. lol, oh man I don't envy you. What a nice sister you are, though!

    So if you're running low in ideas, try the "ants in the grass" game. The kids have to go out in the backyard and try to spot the ants hidden deep in the grass. Should keep them occupied a while. :)

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  6. Jessie, I'm sorry, I'm all full at the moment, but maybe you can come over next week. :) Out of the seven kids, only two of them are boys, so I don't have the toilet seat problem you tackled.

    Patti, it's a great game, isn't it?

    Candy, I know, who wouldn't hire me really? :) I'm going to be in hight demand after this. I sense it.

    Heather, actually, I think she has at least 5 on me, or is it 6 now? (13!!!....*shudder*)

    Renee, you are a gem! I am so going to play that game today. I can see it now, hours of intense concentration. Awesome.

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  7. Hee hee, we love the quiet game around here. The older kids are just catching on that what we really want is the quiet! =)

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  8. OMG!! I am dying laughing. I love you and your Monday posts! :-)

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  9. I'll send my six over right away! :)

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  10. S-e-v-e-n d-a-y-s l-e-f-t. Next, your nephew will remark how you look just like Spongebob in the episode when he didn't sleep for seven days.

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  11. Make sure you throw in plenty of violent TV programming while you're at it.

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  12. Yes, your house sounds like tons of fun. LOL

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  13. *Blink* Wow. Lot of kids. Me? I'd be raving mad about now.

    When my daughter was 4 years old I asked her to sit still in the back seat. For a solid minute the car remained quiet. Then her small voice piped up from behind me. How am I supposed to sit still if the car is moving. I had all I could do not to burst out laughing. Had to hand that one to her.

    And brownies make the best breakfast. Just saying. (Hugs)Indigo

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  14. Hey, if I come visit, can I have brownies for breakfast? I'd love that. I think I'll pass on the black eye though... I like SpongeBob, but not that much. ;)

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  15. We wouldn't get far with the quiet game in my house. My 6 and 7 year olds can't stop talking. Fortunately I've learned to half tune them out as I think about my wip.

    Loved the chocolate muffin part. :)

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  16. Woo. I bet the black eye will be gone in seven days. :)

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  17. Oh, that's where all those kids in our house came from. I was wondering...
    Anyway, I think I have to work late this week-every night.

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  18. Pad the walls in the toy room with lots of comforters and pillows and then lock em' in!! That's what I would do. Just make sure you cut a slat out of the bottom to slip cheerios and juice boxes through periodically.

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